Remembering Those That Have Passed

Remembering those who have passed

I know this is a delicate subject however, I feel it’s important to ask if couples would like to mention a late family member in the wedding. This decision to decide if they want to include them in the ceremony is entirely up to the couple

I encourage couples to discuss together how they both feel about it. If it is something meaningful and if they wish to honour the person they are missing, then it’s lovely thought to mention them.  But if there are doubts or they don’t feel a hundred percent sure about the matter, then leave it and revisit it as the date comes close. Everyone deals with loss in a different way.  If they prefer not to mention a lost relative that is totally fine, it doesn’t make you insensitive. They shouldn’t be pressured to do anything they don’t want to. It is a good idea to give some time and space to think about it and decide what they feel comfortable with. 

 If the passing is recent, some of guests, especially those who loved that person, could feel overwhelmed, and the focus taken away from the ceremony.  If you feel like some of your close family members could have a difficult time dealing with this I would strongly advice talking to them privately, so they know and are emotionally prepared. For many this moment will be a time an opportunity for reflection rather than dampening the mood. They will no doubt feel joy and gratitude for the role that person played in your life.

Depending on the relationship between you and your loved one, there are plenty of options to make them part of your celebration.

Ways to honour your Loved Ones

• Save a seat for them at your ceremony and perhaps place a photo, or a white balloon you can let go at the end of the ceremony to say goodbye.
• A tie could be worn by the groom or a piece of jewellery by the bride; grandmas and grandpas have amazing pieces like cufflinks, a watch, earrings, necklaces, or a brooch.
• Pick your grandparents or parents favourite flower and incorporate them into your bouquet or the boutonniere. 
• Pin a photo of them on you.
• Light a Candle to remember those who are there in spirit.
• Include a photo of them on the signing table so they are included in the signing of the register.

Celebrant mentions them in the Ceremony

Take a moment at the start of the ceremony to share what they mean to you and how they are missed – some examples below of wording that can be incorporated to remember those that are no longer with us:

‘’We think about you always, we talk about you still. You have never been forgotten, and you never will. We hold you close within our hearts and there you will remain. To walk and guide us through our lives, until we meet again.”

“Those we love don’t go away they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear.”

“On this special day, our thoughts are with the loved ones who could not be with us. We feel your presence in our hearts.”

“Forever in our thoughts, you have never gone away. We wish you could be here to share our special day.”

“Your presence is in our hearts as we say, ‘I Do’. We proudly say our vows in loving memory of you.”

For many, a grandmother or grandfather is much more than just a relative; they are like our second parents and a key part of our lives. Although they are not here with us in person I am sure they are here with us in spirit.